Five Reasons Tinder isn’t for Me

Regardless of how easy we have it nowadays, with great technology, innovative products, and super fast internet connection, we are still (well, at least the Western civilization) prisoners of one concern: How to find true love out there.

(Bare in mind that I’m writing this post while listening to the “new” Adele’s Album, and you should be listening to it too while you read this)

I’ve been single for a while now, and still not ready to mingle if you ask me, but one thing I’ve noticed, I suck at  online dating. Even though I consider myself a decent catch, friends of mine have recommended me one “great” option to “not date” but to have some fun in the meantime: Tinder.

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So Tinder comes as the top of mind suggestion from these friends, and I hear things like “Well, try it for fun, what do you have to lose?”, “Just for the giggles, maybe the one is right there, just a swipe right away from you”, “Everybody is using it right now” … Or, as a girl I used to date once said to me “Something that’s good for poke while the telly is broken”).

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So, after not that much thought, these are the 5 reasons why I’m still reluctant to use Tinder as “the other way” to find love:

Serendipity

I still believe in causality and faith, in magic and love at first sight, in being jinxed as a cursed that only “the one” can lift. Aye, just like in that movie, with John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale, remember? The one with the black glove, and the 5 dollar bill, and the book?

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Remember? One of the greatest films about love ever?

Effort

Love deserves your commitment and entire disposition to make it last. So, when love is just “one swipe right away from you”, well, as easy as it comes means how much effort are you willing to give to that relationship.  I don’t think that I’ll take as much care for a relationship I find on Tinder that one that was the result of real life interactions.

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Rejection is good

The main principle of Tinder is that you can discard or like people while swiping right or left. However, this diminishes the effects of rejection. We hate being dislike by others, and even more, being dislike by those we like, particularly if we are looking for their romantic affection. So, on Tinder, if we don’t have a “match” with someone else, we don’t mind, as we carry on with our swiping.

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                                 When even the ocean swipes you to the left…

Real life is different, it takes guts to show someone that you are interest in her on a romantic level, and that excitement of being liked back is amazing, because it includes the fear of being rejected by her, and the wee burden to move on and accept rejection if this happens.

Fast-Track everything

Tinder makes us feel that everything needs to happen immediately. So, the expectations for both are high, either one is looking for her/his long time partner, or the other is only keen for a one night stand (which is fine, mates, I’m not a prude). Hence, most first Tinder dates are based on this premise “I need to know where this is going right now”. Remember the “Lemon Law” by Barney Stinson in #HIMYM? Pretty much that.

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Romance 

Goes with Serendipity, romance isn’t dead, I mean, the flirting, the chivalry, the “I reckon I have feelings for her, darn it!”, or “Well… she is cute, wonder if I’ll see her again” or “Try not to look too creepy, you’ll freak her out”, all those are there, and they feel great. Call me old-fashioned (I mean, I know you did from the start of this post), but let love flow.

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And don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging you for using Tinder for either finding the love of your life or just a good shag, I’m saying love is love and when it hits you it shakes your whole existence. The way you find love defines the way that relationship will develop.

Some do see relationships as disposable experiences. Just for fun. I don’t, I’m looking for an intelligent, smart, fun, easy going, dorky cute girl… the butter of my bread, the breath of my life

The “right one” I have in mind is out there, in the real world, not the web.

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Time…

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As you know, time is a priceless asset, we ought to take care of it and do the best with the time we got here.

So far I reckon I’ve done my best to enjoy my time here. These have been interesting days, and I usually don’t tend to share these sort of thoughts openly but…

  • I’m glad my dad had almost fully recovered from the stroke he suffered
  • I’m certain that adversity had brought my family closer together, we are now much stronger and caring for each other
  • I’m happy for the new challenges I’ve brought to my professional life
  • I’m smiling because I keep on dreaming and following these dreams
  • I’m motivated because I’m surrounded by amazing people every day, my family, my friends, and colleagues
  • I’m healthier and accomplishing my fitness goals
  • I’m at peace with my past

I’m happy and keen, can’t wait for whatever is next, I’m ready.

I don’t know about you, but discouragement is not an option, so, embrace what’s left of your time here and make the best out of it.

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Ps. The World Health Organization recently published a research stating that processed meat causes certain types of cancer… I have one thought about it: I REGRET NOTHING

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Duc In Altum

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Duc in Altum, it is Latin for “Into the deep ocean”, or something like that, my Latin is sort of rusty at the moment, but trust me on this one. It was taught to me during junior high and high school, almost 20 years ago (damn) by the Jesuits. My professors and academic community encouraged us to always go forward, looking for new challenges and frontiers, for adventures and knowledge, to open or wings and fly away…

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How do you like that for the opening paragraph of this post? Pretty epic, right?

 

 

Anyway, so later on, these thoughts and the urge for adventure, made me travel around the world and to visit many places, from France, Canada, Norway, Argentina, and my second home, New Zealand. Recently I got the chance to read a great article written by Kellie Donnelly, titled “The Hardest Part Of Traveling No One Talks About”. In this entry she describes perfectly the way I´ve felt after my trips abroad, specially the last one, coming back from New Zealand to Mexico after three years away.

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Indeed, traveling changes you; it transforms you into a different person and makes you an addict for just flying away. Realizing that coming back home is an obligation that you enjoy, that your friends are grownups now, with kids and responsibilities, with a retirement fund and a decent relationship gut. You find your parents and relatives a little older now, their hairs are greyer and their eyes look nostalgically into the distance. They listen to you blathering about your adventures and sincerely enjoy your stories, as you enjoyed their bed time tales when you were a kid.

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Kellie describes perfectly that “travel bug” that annoyed me at the beginning of my return. Now it is clearer, it isn´t that you don´t like your home country anymore, it is much more; the need to get to know the world, as an addiction that is only beneficial for you, and your free soul.

As she concluded:

“This is the hardest part about traveling, and it’s the very reason why we all run away again.”

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Ps. All  the pictures in this post were taken by myself, pretty neat, huh?

#100HappyDays Conclusion

What have this experiment taught me? Let me recap on how I learnt something amazing about life, the universe and everything.

At the beginning I didn´t know what to expect from this, I mean, clearly I had to register and post those moments that made my day amazing, happy, significant or special. This became a conscious habit, sometimes frustrating when a day was about to end and I had to lurk into my head and find that special moment. At first it was annoying and irritating, as I felt obliged to do it, kind of forced, you know?

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Later on I started looking for that happy moment among others that I´ve experienced throughout the day, that happened around day 40 or 50. It became easier to find that wee happy place that I will post on my Instagram account. Honestly, I thought that all my happy moments will be about food, because, well, food is awesome. Then, almost at the last third of the experiment I realized that happiness was all around, you don´t need to wait for it to happen, or to consciously look for it, nor force it, it became a state of mind.

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Even during some bad days I didn´t struggle to find whatever made that day special, it could have been a friend, a phone call, a memory or a thought, happiness and goodness were all around, all the time. Finally, I started to let things flow, to let life affect me positively, to let others influence me with their optimism, this way happy thoughts and good memories arose more easily by the end of the experiment, I had no trouble to modify my state of mind in a positive way.

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Clearly, by the end of #100HappyDays I realized that happiness lies within us, it is our own decision to be happy or not. On my first post I mentioned some of the benefits, but one of the results they don´t tell you is that you become kinder, and not afraid of showing affection to your loved ones. I´m proud to say that I´m part of the 29% who has completed this challenge, because it seems like a challenge at the beginning.

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My happy days were filled with awesome things, from a good dinner or a wee chat with an old friend, from attending an amazing musical with that special someone to meeting up with your siblings, from having breakfast with your auntie to spending time with the nephew, or just enjoying a beautiful morning view of Mexico City . Finally it became just a simple task to reverse a sad state of mind by just remembering about the great things this Mexican has experienced throughout his life. #100HappyDays turned out to be surprisingly inspiring and revealing, something worth sharing with you all.

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Don´t mind if I insist, but you ought to give this a try (it´s not a cult, don´t worry), in the end, this #100HappyDays showed me that I´m capable of positively modifying my day by focusing on the great things in life, and to be grateful and to feel blessed of the life I was given.

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Ps. She is my mum, up there, in the last picture of this post. Sometimes, when things don´t seem right I look at this picture, which reminds me that there´s always someone there to encourage me to get back on the saddle and conquer my fears.

No Sex in the Champagne Room

Wait a second, is it March already? Where the bullocks did this year go? Anyway, so I´m on the hunt for a new place now and I´m quite excited about this. Let´s put it this way, there are many plans ahead and the rest of this year is going to be bloody awesome. Well, except for the fact that Ukraine is in a terrible political turmoil, Venezuela is experiencing an awful social revolution, the Mexican government intends to pass a law that will allow the authorities to block telecommunications in case of national security issues (aye, just like Egypt, Iran, or Syria), and somebody vomited on Lady Gaga for … let´s put it this way: art.

They say it looked a lot like this…

So, one quarter of the year gone already? And what have we learnt so far?

1.- Street food is an awesome sin

This is one my favourite “sports” since I moved to Mexico City, street food here is freaking glorious and without hesitation the best meals I ever had here were on the run.

From pambazos, to “tacos de canasta”, pork crackling quesadillas, or just corn in a cup (no girls); this city is the bomb when it comes to urban/informal gastronomy.

 

2.- It´s ok to protect human rights in other countries except yours

I´m talking to you “Murica”, don´t think we haven´t noticed the amount of people lined up for execution in your penitentiary centres. That´s right, there are several inmates that are there waiting for their lives to be “Terminated” by the American government without a proper trial. If you want to find out more, go to the Death Penalty Information Centre website, and see “who´s next”.

3.- Christmas decorations are fine on February but not March

I´m not going to go deeper on this subject, you know who you are, and no, it is not “ok” to leave them all the way until August and then say “well, Christmas is just around the corner, why bother”. Get those bloody cardboard boxes and put those obnoxious holiday annoyances away!

Neither saying “happy new year” after the second week of January.

4.- No matter what the stripper says, there´s no sex in the champagne room. 

Amazingly explained by Chris Rock on this great 90s hit:

Ps. Remember mates, learn the difference between positivism and optimism, they are not the same, and no, reading Paulo Coehlo isn´t cool either.

Ps2. Speaking of optimism, tend to hang out with happy and optimist fellas, learn from their ability to see the good things in life. Usually these people are empathetic, caring, good listeners and they share their happiness with those around them.

A Holy Review on God´s Entourage

You might not know this, but I learnt to read since I was a very wee kid, and I wasn’t just reading kids books, I was reading some stuff not suitable for my young age (not  like freaking Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey). So, the reason for this post is to talk about one of the books that astonished me the most while I was growing up, “La Tournée de Dios” by Enrique Jardiel Poncela. It was written and published in 1932, and it presents a brilliant story where the author portrays the hypothetical arrival of God to Earth (regardless of his/her existence) for a wee visit. Indeed, at the time I read it the thought of having the Christian God among us, hanging out, telling us about his point of view regarding the human race, never occurred to me before.

Have you tried playing that game as a child? It was more difficult than paying your tuition as a grown up.

Jardiel Poncela begins dedicating this book to God itself, and presents it as an “almost divine novel”, as well as thanking the left and right political views, communism, the republic, the atheists, and human kind.

So God comes to earth, right? And one of the first things that people notice is that he isn´t really that into “humans”, he presents himself as a dictator (and dictatorship as the best political system for humans), shocking everybody as the current debate among internationalists was about the best political model in an Utopian world.

Throughout the author´s sarcasm, God expresses his opinions to the public, the media, the governments, and the Vatican itself. The Pope, feeling overshadowed by God and his harsh criticism to the foundation of the Catholic Church, fakes sickness and secludes himself in his room, fearing the thought of being replaced by God among Christians.

What is amazing about his narrative is the fact that Jardiel Poncela criticizes, through God´s statements, his own society; calling it shallow, lame, anxious, lazy and ineffably uncomfortable with committing to anything.  Which, now that I think about it, his opinions apply to nowadays Western Civilization.

Best known as… I want to go to pee but I´m way too comfortable in my bed.

We´ve became hedonistic/egocentric brats, unable to emphasize with somebody else´s disgrace without taking a snapshot of it and uploading it to Facebook/Twitter.

The level of our discomforts stays in the vicinity of social media, where we protest, argue, and “defend” human and animal rights by retweeting and sharing. We question not what we fail to understand, but the fact that “things” aren´t properly explained us, discarding the topic and moving on to the next one without mercy.

“Humanity, unleashed and shameless, lost self-confidence, and no concept of duty, cocky, arrogant and foolish, full of haughtiness, not willing to resign, frivolous and frantic forgotten serenity and simplicity, ambitious and sad , demanding much more to life than life can give, deprived of the joy for the joy that is the only way of joy, running madly towards the final bankruptcy.” – Enrique Jardiel Poncela.

This is just the way Louis CK said modern society would react to Jesus second coming to Earth, where we wouldn´t be able to stay put to Jesus´message to men because social media must be briefed with the “individual exclusive” of our tweets about Jesus.

The story is full with gracious characters and hilarious situations where God simply gives up on human kind, wait, no, is the other way around, human kind gives up on God as he becomes available, reachable, losing his mysticism.

“In the divine, the bygone youths had faith and believed. Today’s youth do not have faith nor believe. And one thinks… having no faith.”

Ps. Interesting how the international community has looked away from Putin´s despicable actions against the LGTB community in Russia, especially on the dawn of the Winter Olympic Games that will take place in Sochi. Harsh to think of some nations fight for freedom and human rights on foreign land, but only against adversaries that are easily defeated.

Ps 2. Or maybe, this is just an anti Russia media campaign foster by the American just like the good old days?

Ps3. Have you been following what the international journalists who have arrived to Sochi already have encountered? The Washington Post gives us a good glance here.

In the Land of the Long White Cloud

We started opening our presents on Christmas, when my mum grabs a bag and says to me “this is for you”. I opened the bag and I found socks (ha!) and a shirt (nice), but after grabbing them out, the bag still seemed pretty heavy. She winked at me and I looked inside and I found a book: “In the Land of the Long White Cloud“, written by Sarah Lark.

Photo by Stephen Murphy

I’ve heard many things about this book, specially because my family and friends know I just came back from New Zealand and can relate the story of the book (well, at least the country the story takes place in) to me.

Book description: 

“Helen Davenport, governess for a wealthy London household, spots an advertisement seeking young women to marry New Zealand’s honorable bachelors and begins an affectionate correspondence with a gentleman farmer. Meanwhile, not far away in Wales, beautiful and daring Gwyneira Silkham, daughter of a wealthy sheep breeder, is bored with high society. But when a mysterious New Zealand baron deals her father an unlucky blackjack hand, Gwyn’s hand in marriage is suddenly on the table. Her family is outraged, but Gwyn is thrilled to escape the life laid out for her.

The two women meet on the ship to Christchurch—Helen traveling in steerage, Gwyn first class—and become unlikely friends. When their new husbands turn out to be very different than expected, the women must help one another find the life—and love— they’d hoped for.” – by Amazon

I’m going to start reading it, seems like the right piece of inspiration to get my stuff together and start planning my next “great escape”.

Funny how now, that I’m  far away from New Zealand, there are several things that remind me of this country I love, miss and cherish.

Ps. While watching the Hobbit, during one of the scenes with a beautiful kiwi landscape in the background, my mum whispered “You’ll be back one day, don’t you worry”.

Top 10 Things to do While unemployed

Ten things to do while unemployed:

Update your freaking CV. Really, many people have horrible CVs, I used to be in that category. Just send your CV to a couple of professional friends and ask them for free feedback.

Read. I just found myself in a place filled with amazing books; my parents have an awesome book collection. My goal is to read at least a couple of books per week (no, I won’t even get close to the Twilight series, 50 Shades, nor any of Paulo Coelho’s works).

Exercise. That will keep your body and mind active. It is said, somewhere, that an active body fosters an active mind. Go for walks, run, join a gym, train yourself in the dark arts of yoga.

Learn a hobby. Like bad ass gardening bro! Or something less intense like cooking, carpentering, writing, languages, fucking knitting mate! You won’t regret it.

Copyright Creators Syndicate

Yeps, pretty much

Write your memoirs. It’s like a ‘classier’ diary, give it a try, you don’t have to start with a “when I was born”, start whenever you want to. This is great therapy, putting your life in retrospective and, somehow, finding where you succeeded and failed.

Reconnect with people. What happened to those friends from highschool? Where are your old mates from your bad ass yoga club from college? Try finding them and reconnecting with them (I said reconnect, don’t stalk your ex’s, that’s just creepy).

Let your elders tell you about “those days”. There’s nothing like listening to your parents, aunties or uncles reminiscing about the good old days. But remember, there are some things you don’t need to know, (like how many guys your 60 year old auntie has screwed).

Clear and clean your environment. It’s like that Fungi religion says, get rid of old things in order to let new things in. Clean your room/garage/living-room, etc, let that good energy flow freely through your unemployed premises.

Hippie-travel. Plan a low budget trip to wherever you want to go, in or outside your country.

But let´s be honest, you can´t

Remember, being unemployed isn’t bad at all, it means you now have time to enjoy the ‘wonders of the free world’, so go and freaking enjoy the shit out of them bro!

Smile. Unemployment isn’t the end of your career, it’s just a wee pause. Smile for all the good things that you do have. You might be a bankrupt-heartbroken-unfit son of a bitch, but hey, at least you have internet access and a laptop to read this awesome post, don’t you? I even bet you are having some Starbucks with one of those 2×1 sweet/soft muffins, right?

Ps1. Thanks to all my friends and relatives who make me smile every single day and keep supporting me with their inspiring words like “find a job you lazy arse” or “it’s 11 am and you are still in bed you bum!”.

Ps2. Oh, to all my readers, honestly, I posted about human rights and peace and I get the lowest amount of visitors in the history of this blog; but I post about pork fat, poutine and 50 Shakes of Grey and I get the highest numbers, really?

Kia Ora Bro!

Rangitoto Island / Photo by Luis Perez

It was a long time ago, on September of 2009 when I decided to visit New Zealand for the first time. I took the 11pm Air New Zealand flight to Auckland from LAX. If you are ever going to the Oceania (at least a 12 hour flight), fly Air New Zealand, they have an amazing service. A sign welcomed me at Auckland’s International Airport: “Kia Ora, Haere mai Aoteaora” – Hi, Welcome to New Zealand.

There’s so much to write about this Lord of the Rings paradise. If you happen to be there, just go with the flow, I rented a car at A2B Rentals, and drove all around the North Island. It took me 30 minutes to get used to drive on the other side of the road, thankfully I had the Auckland Southern Motorway for a test drive. After that, it was all “sweet as bro”, I drove pass Hamilton (I’m sure it’s a great place, but life’s too short to get to know the Tron) and headed to New Plymouth, Ohakune, Taupo, Rotorua (which is a must, regardless of the awful sulfuric scent) and ended up at Whitianga.

I also learnt who the All Blacks are… and you should too

I made it to the Coromandel Peninsula, and I had a blast there, hung out with some Germans and went to the Hot Water Beach, Cathedral Cove, The Coromandel, etc. New Zealand is a scenic country, no matter where you are, the view will be amazing. This was a fast 15 days trip, I didn’t mind going anywhere else, I knew I’ll have more time when I finally move to this “Far out” country.

New Zealand taught me to “give myself a try”, to experience new things, to go on an adventure, to eat mussels, kumaras, pies, to meet new friends, to adapt my ears to the NZelanders’ funky accent and to listen and read Maorifor the first time.

Well, she never stopped fighting… right?

The land of the hobbits, the Flight of the Conchords, Rugby, 100% pure land  and Feminism is like my second home. Give yourself a try and explore New Zealand, and if you are lucky enough, you might get the chance to meet Lucy Lawless or Bret and Jemaine.

Ps: “Mean as”, “sweet as”, “kia ora bro”, “Far out”, “dodgy”, “give your ferret a run”, are some kiwi expressions I heard while I was there (nah, I never heard the last one, but sounds mean doesn’t it?)

Ps2. Never tease a Kiwi telling her/him that Pavlova is Aussie… never.

O Canada (O Poutine)

Canada-eh

Oooooo Canada

“O Canada, Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!”

The True North, strong and free. Yes, that’s in the lyrics of the Canadian anthem. Canada is one of my favourite countries for many good reasons: I have very good friends there, I have some family there (legal residents, in case you were wondering), amazing landscapes and lots of fresh air. Canadians are, by far, the nicest and most polite people in the world; plus, they have Tim Hortons, and they invented poutine.

Canadians have mastered many things throughout their history: the awesome uniform their Royal Canadian Mounted Police wears, tolerance to extreme Winters, lacrosse, multicultural society, the art of sticking together (yeps, I’m talking to you Quebec), gravy and poutine.

Oh yeah, that's the stuff

Oh yeah, that’s the stuff

I first discovered poutine in 2001, when we went to a regular fast food restaurant in Montreal. A Mexican friend, living there at the time, ordered it for us. Oh poutine, when it arrived it looked just like fries covered with brown gravy and curd cheese. The combination of perfectly fried potatoes, brown creamy gravy and melting curd cheese was outstanding. It was love at first bite.

“dreams are made possible if you try” – Terry Fox

“dreams are made possible if you try” – Terry Fox

There’re different stories on how this Canadian dish was invented, my favourite is the following: Fernand Lachance (Warwick, Quebec) claims he invented poutine in 1957, while making it he said: ça va faire une maudite poutine (“it will make a damn mess”), et voila! Poutine is freaking delicious (although, not that nutritious), it’s a ‘must eat’ when you stop by the up north.

Ps. Another important thing Canada has given us is Terry Fox (July 28, 1958 – June 28, 1981). He was a Canadian humanitarian activist for cancer research. Terry Fox, with an amputated leg, started a cross-Canada run to raise money and awareness for cancer research. If you click on the picture to your right it will take you to a wonderful written post on how Terry Fox has influenced positively Canadians through his example and remembered every year at the Terry Fox Run.

Ps2. mmmmm Poutine!